Friday, October 09, 2009

Stargate Tin Man

Captain Jack O'Neill says no one is supposed to live forever. Says who? I very much would like to live forever, at least to have the chance. There are some complications such as overpopulation but hey maybe that would the motivation we need to get our lazy butts into space. By the way that is another one of my dreams. Not just our solar system but other galaxies. Makes me smile just thinking about it.

What would it be like to watch the evolutionary process in real time. To be able to study everything. One of my greatest curiosities... everything.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Seasonal Sadness

It has happened less frequently but it is still there. About every 6 months or so I get a little depressed. Nothing overwhelming just a deep sadness, that often inspires creativity, understanding and eventually peace. It has been over a year this time. I feel the need to reconnect with emotion and deep feelings, not just the sadness but the pleasure of life. To see and feel the vibrance of people to see people living, really living. Touching the essance of life, feeling the fundamental joys.
The everydayness of life has been the main focus for the past year or so but things may have started calming down, allowing me the moments of true lucidity.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Didn't someone once say vote early and vote often. We figured we would help them exercise their civic duty in this historic election.

The best baby picture ever and even more awesome is they are my daughters. Hopefully they get this out of their system within a year or two.
A very very special day. Feel a little bad it took so long to post, but on September 6th our family doubled in size (excluding pets.)

Monday, March 31, 2008

I'm tired and that leads to change... I hope.

At points in my life I have gotten tired of how things were going for me. I am not sure if it is because I am tired or because my wife and I are expecting but I feel the pressure for change.
There are circumstantial changes that have taken place that may be helping as well. One being that I now work the graveyard shift. I no longer know what day it is from one day to the next, am always tired, and feel my skin tone is changing to a cadaverous hue but there are some positives. There is not a lot that goes on during the shift. Most of the work is done in the first 3 hours. Then as I like to describe the job I take hourly walks and look for dead people. This leaves me with lots of time. I have now also grown bored of almost all my online games. Having our computers crash and losing the internet at home has helped. This too equals more time.
So what to do with this time? Well there is a gym here at work and I have started working out. I love the feeling of getting into shape. OK I have only worked out twice and have had 4 days of incredible pain recovering but the idea is invigorating. I can't wait to cause myself more muscle distress.
OK that takes up less than an hour of my night. The rest is still in the planning and motivate my lazy butt stages.
Clean and baby safe the house.
Start gardening, especially aromatic herbs.
Write more including blogging.

Writing I can do at work. Study on how to setup and grow a garden I can do at work. Cleaning and actually creating the garden have to be done at home. I am excited, and I think if I start getting in better shape through exercise I will have the energy and motivation to follow through with the others.

Wish me luck.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

6 Words

Heard a little competition and loved the idea immediately. I posted twice.

17. Joshua said:

Born. Breathing, Eating, sleeping. Ah crap.

18. Joshua said:

Learned I am dying. Lived anyway.

22. Joshua said:

Wanted one, got another. Trying love.

If you would like to participate here is the link.

A Life in Six Words

Friday, January 11, 2008

Letting it all sink in...

Life just changed, ok maybe it changed a while ago but I am just finding out and playing catch up. Maybe I should be making a big adjustment, but right now I am still processing. The funny thing is, the thought that keeps going through my mind is, I should really clean the house.
So for those of you who read this you get to know before anyone else, if you read it before I tell them.

I am going to be a father, a dad. ME!

It is something I have always dreamed of. When anyone asked what do you want to be when you grow up, I would say "I don't know" but in my mind and sometimes out loud I would say I want to be a father. I want to have and raise a child, I want to teach them about life and this world and give them the best tools possible to live in and enjoy this life.
Now this dream has faded quite a bit over the years, for the longest time I wondered if I would get married then I went through a divorce. Over the years the cynic in me has grown and said why would you want to bring a child into this messed up world what kind of loving parent would do that.
Tonight that dream has become a distinct possibility. As long as there are no complications with the pregnancy, in however long the child takes to develop and be born I will be a dad. And my wife will be a mother. After my divorce I didn't want to have anything to do with women. Then I met my wife. I couldn't think of anyone I would want more as the mother of my children. I have seen her with kids and she is amazing, I have heard her talk to and about children and the love, compassion and understanding is overwhelming. I look forward to raising our children together. Sweet, awesome don't even touch the feelings that are starting to grow in me.

Well I better clean the house so our child can mess it up.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Can I call it Crap before I have even written it?

So I built a failure device into my plan. A failure device is that little thing we put into something we want to do that sabotages us and keeps us from accomplishing what we want. In this case I wanted to blog everyday and I had a list of things that would get me to blog and a few of those were pictures. That is fine but I do not have a digital camera to take pictures with. My wife does but she usually has it with her. So I wait to start my great plan until I have regular access to a digital camera.

As I was getting to write this another failure device started kicking in. My mind said "You don't have anything profound to say so whatever you are going to write about is going to be Crap. All those people who read your blog are going to think you're an idiot."
Ah an attack on my ego, well hear this mister EGO as far as I know there is only one person who even knows of the existence of this blog. So how many people are going to think I am an idiot? Maybe that one.

Sometimes I need to ignore perfection and just do the best I can. Not let failure stop me from living. Cause once you stop living, your dead, and I want to live forever.

Word for the day: Fear
The eggs in the pot
Hold my thoughts
More than the rhymes
In my mind
I hope you see
That's bad poetry